Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
