But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
