Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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