I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I will be naked everywhere
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
