So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
