You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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