she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
