You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
