Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We need a shit load of segways right now
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
