I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
