guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
