i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
