Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
