I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
