Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
