She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
