somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
