I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
