They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
