Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Please, let me fuck your mom
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Randomize
