You were right. It hurts to walk today.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
