Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
