Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
