that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
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