He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
