they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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