We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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