What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
