If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
