Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
