By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
