so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
