New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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