Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
