so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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