question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
