: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
