And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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