it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
