it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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