pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
