You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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