Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
