My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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