i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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