The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
