Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
