Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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