I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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