I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
