I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Success! We fucked roommates!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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