this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
